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If you are in danger, please use a safer computer, call 911 or your local hotline or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233 voice), 1-800-787-3224 (tty). There is always a computer trail, but you can click ESCAPE to leave the site quickly.

SHELTER NEEDS

• Tylenol (for infants and adults)
• Diapers (sizes 4-6)
• Baby formula
• Trash bags, 55 gallon size
• Plastic cutlery and paper plates
• Bleach
• Towels and washcloths
• Sugar (packets or bulk)
• Women's pajamas
• Twin size blankets
• Used cell phones (do not have to function)

In Her Shoes

In her shoes is an interactive presentation that fosters empathy with victims of domestic violence. 

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Silent Witnesses

The Silent Witnesses represent women and children who were murdered in acts of domestic violence in the Kansas City Metropolitan area. Each personal story is displayed on each witness silhouette. 

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Speaker's Bureau

Newhouse offers qualified speakers on the topic of domestic violence. 

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In Her Own Words

I don’t know what it was that made him release his grip around my neck. Maybe it was the look of fear in my eyes; though that had never stopped him before from carrying out his torture. The whole time he was choking me I just kept thinking, “My kids, my kids, who’s going to take care of my kids if he kills me this time?” But he didn’t kill me; he just suddenly stopped and walked away. I knew then that I had to get out.

In 24 hours, I packed EVERYTHING in our four bedroom townhouse and loaded it onto a U-Haul I rented with borrowed money, and headed to the police station as I’d been instructed. I had no clue what community living would be like, but whatever it was, it had to be better that the hell I was living in.

For 15 years I’d grown accustomed to keeping this secret. The only people who knew in the beginning were my mother and sister. It wasn’t long before they didn’t want to share my secret anymore. They didn’t understand why I didn’t just get rid of him, or why I didn’t just leave. So they quickly grew weary of hearing the sad stories or being called on for help. They stopped calling or coming over. The isolation was one of the worst things. Trying to keep the secret hidden was the other.

My abuser was an addict. Since coming to Newhouse, I’ve learned the cycle of domestic violence. The “tension” stage where I walked on eggshells and tried to be perfect so that nothing would trigger him. The “blow-up” stage when whatever I did set him off. Then the “honeymoon” phase, when I’d be showered with “love” and gifts until I succumbed to forgiveness. But my situation had another factor added to the equation… his addiction to cocaine. So in addition to trying always to be perfect so I didn’t get beat up, I also had to try to make sure his life was perfect because I always knew that the second anything went even a little askew, any small hiccup in any plan would make him want to get high. When he wanted to get high, he would do anything to get the money. He would pawn or sell anything belonging to me or the kids. He would steal money that was for rent or the bills. He would steal my car and “rent” it to the dope man without a care that the kids and I were stranded. But the worst was that he would just disappear for days, sometimes weeks at a time. When the kids would ask where he was, all I could say is “I don’t know.”

The day I thought he was going to kill me and leave my children without anyone to depend on; I knew something had to change for good. I didn’t know then after having tried to for years to figure out just why I did stay. I’d been told all the things people always say… I could do better, I didn’t deserve the way he treated me, I should just call the police and have him imprisoned I knew all that was true without anyone having to tell me. The only think I didn’t know was why I did stay and continue to fuel such dysfunction.

Living at Newhouse for almost 10 months, I was blessed with a safe place to live, peace of mind, and people around me (staff and administration) who were willing to do whatever they could to see that my every need was met. They were concerned about me. But what I know now is that most important blessing. I was giving the answer to why I stayed.

I stayed for so long because my spirit was broken. I wasn’t whole. Several things happened to me during my childhood left me so wounded that I felt I needed that dysfunctional marriage to make me feel whole. I knew of course that these things had happened to me, but I never knew the effect that something that happened so many years ago could have on my life today.

Because of the group and one on one therapy I received, I was able to put all the puzzle pieces together and see the real me again. It wasn’t easy facing and coming to terms with all these old demons, but I had to. They were still taking up valuable space in my heart and mind; and showing themselves in the life I was living. I forgave all the people who hurt me. I forgave myself and let go of all the guild and shame.

Newhouse gave me the time, space and resources I so desperately needed to get my head together. I’m so eternally grateful to them for giving me a new start and a chance to live my life as a woman who is whole and complete within herself. Every day when I open my eyes, I know I’ve got God and I’ve got myself; my true self. That’s all I need to take on whatever the day may bring. The staff and administration at Newhouse may never fully know just how much they have done and are appreciated, for the gift they’ve given to me alone is priceless.

-Maya

In January 1993 I was a resident at Newhouse. My two children and I stayed there for about three weeks. Today, I am approaching my third anniversary with Hallmark Cards, Inc., I am buying my own home, and I have a newer car which I secured the loan for myself. 

When I first entered your shelter, all my worldly possessions were packed into two black garbage bags. I had no home, no money, no job skills. I have come a long way. More importantly, my children are happy, well-adjusted and very bright. My son is in first grade; my daughter is a fifth grader. Each child makes excellent grades in school. My daughter is in her third year of the gifted program; she plays violin and softball. My son is very artistic and enjoys writing stories and illustrating them. He is a very gentle and kind boy.

The purpose of this letter is to show that life can go on and will get better if we just try. It is not easy and it certainly is scary, but it can be done. Yes, I have made a great deal of progress BUT I did not do it alone. The help I received started at Newhouse and continued with my family and friends. Don’t be afraid to ask for help because there are a lot of people who are more than willing to extend their hand. Surprisingly, the world is not such a bad place!

Not too long ago, I had no hope left in my heart. Today, I have a future and my children have a future. We have peace of mind and security. You cannot put a price on that!

-Mary



I am a woman of multiple abusive relationships. It wasn't until this last one that I realized something was very wrong with my living arrangement. My sister witnessed enough and gave me a number to call for help.

Unsure of how the process worked, I called the domestic violence hotline. I have to tell you I was afraid of how I would be received--because most people think you're stupid for being in an abusive relationship. But not the staff at Newhouse. I felt safe just talking to the lady on the phone. She gave me instructions on how I had to get to the police station.

Then I came to Newhouse, glad to be here away from danger. The staff made me feel comfortable and safe. They did not judge me, but moreover, have given me so much support, emotionally and spiritually. Thanks to group and individual therapy sessions, for the first time in my life I am beginning to understand some things about myself. Also, I didn't have a job or clothes to even look for one. My case manager helped me get some clothes so I could interview for jobs--and, I recently became employed.

It was unfortunate circumstances that brought me here to Newhouse, but beyond those circumstances I have been given a new lease on life and definitely a second chance to be truly happy. Thank you so much for having the love of God in your hearts and especially the love you all have showed me. For that I am forever grateful.

-Alberta



I came to live at Newhouse in the summer with my two children, ages three and four years old. I was pregnant and didn’t have anywhere else safe to go. I felt lost and alone.

The staff made me feel comfortable with their kindness and generosity. I immediately received much needed counseling and guidance. Every day I was involved in activities designed to teach me new ways to live. The group sessions made me realize how similar my story was to so many others. It wasn’t long before I started to find hope and I began to regain my confidence.

It has been a long and difficult journey and I still struggle when facing obstacles. Newhouse continues to provide me with guidance and I am grateful. I am in school now and I am working toward self-sufficiency.

Thanks to Newhouse I have broken the chain of domestic violence in my life and the in the lives of my children.

Thank you.

-Nicole



I am from Sudan. I came to this country in 1995 and became a US Citizen in 2001. In my country, marriages are arranged by the family. My uncle arranged my marriage to a man who started abusing me only one month after our wedding in 2003. He would hit and kick me when we argued.

Many times, I called the police for help. When my family would intervene, my husband would say he was sorry and promise not to hit me again. But that would never happen, he always hit me again. My family wanted us to stay together because in my country people stay married no matter what. We had two children and I was pregnant with our third when he threatened to kill me.

One day when I was at a health clinic where I go with my children, I saw a poster for the Newhouse shelter for women and children. I took the number and kept it with me just in case I would need it. The next time my husband threatened to kill me and the children, I knew he was serious and we fled with only the clothes we had on and nothing more. I went to my sister’s house and then called Newhouse for help. But I had to go through this three more times before I was strong enough to finally leave.

Since I’ve been in shelter at Newhouse, I have gotten a Full Order of Protection against my husband and I have custody of my children. Now I am taking GED classes, English language classes, and I’m looking for housing for me and my children. Newhouse is providing me with mental health therapy, groups and child care. Luckily, my family here in the US supports my decision to get a divorce. Traditionally, it is unacceptable to get a divorce in Sudan. But now I know I don’t have to put up with abuse. Newhouse has changed my life. I am a much stronger person now.

-Sirah